Hi ~ I want to start by apologizing for being a bit inactive for the past few weeks/months. Metamorphic Forest is my world, my pride & joy, my personal mission of purpose & intention… but lately, keeping up has proven difficult, with both this platform and also my personal wellbeing. Mostly, I need to find balance. I am healing, growing. When people discuss transformation, they fail to mention how tumultuous, painful, and hopeless the cocoon can feel. Writing this blog is about to be a feat for me, and I am already immensely proud of myself for beginning. Celebrating each step makes the journey feel lighter. I love you guys so much. Thanks for reading and supporting me on this journey.
So far, July has been HEAVY with deeply transformative, cosmic energy. I feel like I say this every post… but seriously. We are past the halfway point of the year, and for most of this month, Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Pluto, and now Chiron have been in retrograde, as well as an eclipse gateway has been open since the last Solar Eclipse on June 2nd. This time is truly the turning point of the year, and it is our choice on whether we accept this responsibility, or fall into old cycles and stay stagnant.
An eclipse gateways is the time between two eclipses—a time that is ripe with insights & revelations, life altering changes, and opportunities aligned with destiny. Eclipses are known for resetting your life and physically pushing you to the right path. If you’ve been feeling disconnected, it’s likely this past eclipse woke you up a bit and brought you closer to your Truth, and if not, this next eclipse will if you allow it. However, with all these retrogrades, this gateway has a heavy focus on revisiting the past, learning more about our outdated cycles, and inspiring internal transformation.
For the last couple of weeks, how have you felt? What’s been going on, small scale and large scale? It’s likely that triggers have arose over & over in order to get your attention, you may be feeling drained and sometimes downright miserable… This is how we heal. We take this triggers, find a root cause, and work through that internal block.
PERSONAL EXAMPLE: Lately, I have felt downright hopeless. I never really understood what people meant by the term “depression blackout” until recently—I am mentally missing huge gaps of time, beginning sometime in February/March and lasting to now. There are things I definitely remember & consciously did… But I keep hearing / learning about things I had no recollection of happening. Every new insight has been paired with an eerie, déjà vu-like sensation in my chest, and sometimes tunnel-vision and vertigo.
One day, I awoke suddenly and felt reaaallly, suspiciously awake. It was 10am, the earliest I had woken up in months. I jumped directly out of bed without checking any of my phone notifications (unheard of), stretched for more than 2 minutes (?!!?), and reached straight for my tarot deck—Judgement. Gabriel awakening the dead. I didn’t realize until I read my daily horoscope that today was the day of the Solar Eclipse New Moon in Cancer.
On that day, I thrived. I made delicious food, indulged in a magical bath, posted a tarot reading for you guys, yoga’d for HOURSSSS, etc. Wrote all about it in my journal. Set intentions to have days like today, every day.
Fast forward, here, now, and I sort of feel like I’ve been sleepwalking again. I made a mental intention to write this blog LAST Sunday, so y’all would have more time to prepare, but somehow lost a week and here I am.
The only difference between both sleep walking experiences, before and after the Solar Eclipse, is that during this gateway I have become hyper-aware of when I am presented with the choice to wake myself up, or to continue acting out of alignment with my beliefs & Highest Divine Reality.
Anytime I was about to binge eat garbage food, a voice clear as day asked, “Are you sure?” Also me, groggily snatching my phone at 12:11pm to turn off my last emergency wake up alarm, I hesitate before opening Instagram and debate whether to commit to a morning ritual of yoga & meditation, or to scroll endlessly for 30 minutes. If I chose the scroll, after 10 minutes I would get a nudge to stop (A FEAT), get out of bed and mildly stretch my body.
It’s been surreal. Loud and clear messages from the Universe highlighting the behaviors that have to go, areas where I can choose to be better... Has anyone else experienced this in the last few weeks? Maybe your Universal communications have been a bit more discreet, or a bit more dramatic. I would love to hear your experiences! Comment on my Instagram post if you’d like to share:)
This brings me to the next step in this cycle, the July 16th Lunar Eclipse Full Moon in Capricorn. The big theme of this cosmic event is LET GO! Let go of all the blocks, outdated patterns, and toxic beliefs that have been highlighted for you since the Solar Eclipse, hell, even since the first eclipse we had back in January! 2019 has been filled with a roller coaster ride of transformation. I bet you will find you are a completely different person than 7 months ago.
This would be a great time to check back in your journal to the beginning of this year—what reoccurring patterns have been going on for you since the year began? In what areas are others causing problems for you? Alternative, where are you holding yourself back? What habits do I have that are not in line with my Highest Divine Reality? What can I let go of to be a better me? Be sure to answer these in your journal, and to keep track of your feelings during this time. You may find the key to your own personal gold mine in your journey to transformation.
Capricorn is the mountain goat—they climb to the highest peaks using calculated, careful steps. Capricorn is here to remind you when, where, and how to be strong, structured, and focused. While it is important we be diligent and thorough in our healing, it is also essential to let the Universe take the reins. Great Spirit knows what is best for us, and when push comes to shove, we need to be ready to let her work, to shine her light into our darkness and show us the way. Cooperate with her, allow yourself to let go, and she will grant you the opportunities you need to move forward.
AFFIRMATIONS: I move freely in the ebb and flow of change. I release all outdated beliefs, patterns, and cycles that are holding me back. I welcome blessings and opportunities aligned with my destiny. I trust that The Universe has my back.
A few days after this eclipse, Mercury retrogrades from Leo back into Cancer. Mercury Rx hasn’t been so bad since beginning in Leo: from what y’all have been telling me, it seems Mercury has been playing the role of a trickster. But I have a feeling once Mercury starts back peddling through Cancer, we will really have the opportunity to dig deeper into the lessons we are learning, and hopefully learn them once and for all. Remember, retrogrades are a time for revisiting, regrouping, reviewing, and releasing. There is no such thing as a negative experience when you can pull a positive lesson from it!
This is likely to be a painful process—healing tends to be—be we got this. Look how far we’ve come! If we survived this long, made the choice to progress for this long, and propelled ourselves this far… we got this. This is all in preparation for your Highest Divine Reality. I’d say that this is a worth the challenge!
Channel Big Cancer energy by being gentle and nurturing yourself. Take frequent, conscious breaths, cook yourself a magic meal with intention and attention, make a magic bath experience with the intention to cleanse your spirit and elevate consciousness (check out my Moon Bath Blend in my shop J) show yourself all the love and care you can muster… and then pair this unconditional self-love with Capricorn strength, focus, and determination.
Create a plan for action, with measurable steps. Set deadlines for goals & projects—I will be eating 110% clean and habitually exercising 3 times a week by the end of August. I will have my book published by the Autumnal Equinox. I will be moved out before Scorpio Season.—now, what are the calculated steps to get there? How can I manifest these realities in my daily habits? When Cancer—Capricorn energy is expressed in its fullest potential, you have 2, high-functioning halves of a whole—masculine and feminine energies coming together to create fluid Divinity.
And don’t forget to be gentle with yourself and others. We are going through this together!
The Sun shifts into Leo on the 23rd, and Venus into Leo on the 28th, so lighthearted times are ahead. We will still have 6 astral bodies in retrograde, but this doesn’t mean we can’t make room for fun, excitement, and love.
CRYSTAL FOR THIS TIME: Blue Apatite, Moonstone, Opal, Selenite, Amethyst, Garnet, Jet, any color Tourmaline or Fluorite, Malachite, Onyx, and Tiger’s Eye.